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The Genesis of Gender

June 4, 2011 By Leave a Comment

From Kim Winters:

On May 31, a group of us gathered in the Blue Room to once again discuss the topic of Biblical manhood and womanhood. Cindy Agoncillo and I partnered up to lead the event, and although we were few in number (four men and ten women) we were very encouraged at the level of interest and participation by everyone who turned out.    

First, we talked about why this topic is as important to singles as it is to married people.  Next we reoriented our perspectives on singleness with the Bible, placing a high value on the “call” of singleness (both the temporary and the permanent call) and finally we discussed the importance of not condescending to those of differing marital status.

Next the three main views on the issue of manhood and womanhood within the church were briefly outlined (hierarchism, egalitarianism and complementarianism), including an explanation of how people within all three views use the Bible to defend their position.  A call was made for everyone to determine which view best “fits” them, and in particular, the importance of “landing” on a perspective that is not only biblically sound, but also beautiful in practice.  A discussion of the importance of “gospel culture” was shared (in light of giving people room to “land” on a view and then live it out), and then a deeper look at complementarianism was taken, as that is the view I (Kim) have “landed” on after years of study and debate.  Even so, we sought to keep the dialogue open, especially in consideration of the egalitarian position.  Cindy shared openly that while she agreed that the complementarian view was beautiful, she had not yet firmly landed there for a multitude of undertstandable reasons.  Cindy’s insights helped to remind us that truly “landing” on a perspective on this incredibly important topic should not in any way be two-dimensional.  We also took some time to remind everyone that while SixTen tends to lean complementarian (owing to the conviction of most of our current leaders), both egalitarianism and complementarianism are found within SixTen and within West Shore Free church, and there is certainly room for both.  As always, our desire in SixTen is to continue to cultivate gospel culture where people are truly able to be open and transparent about their journey toward God’s best for their lives.  

At this meeting, Cindy and I chose to outline the “definitions” of biblical manhood and womanhood and then look more closely at the biblical basis for the call on men to carry the “benevolent” responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to their differing relationships.  Based on work Mary Kassian has done on this topic, the group looked at Genesis chapter 2 and the unique ways the first man (and therefore, all subsequent males) were created and called by God to be people who represent Jesus Christ, people who have a special call of authority; people who have a unique relationship to work; people who are called to primarily provide, and people who are expected to offer protection to others.

The inspiring things we discovered in Genesis helped us to see how important this call on men actually is.  Kassian tells us that God has such important things He wants to communicate about Himself that He did not write it on paper, but rather on human bodies. 

If you missed this first gathering, you can still catch up.  Much of what we shared can be downloaded from Kindle or found on the internet.  First, the book “Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood” is around $11 on Kindle.  Read the first three chapters of that book, and you will be caught up to where we are.  Additionally, you can hear the message by Mary Kassian called “The Genesis of Gender” and be as inspired as we were by the awesome things that message contains! 

Everyone in attendance shared a desire to meet again soon, and so we are looking at some future dates in July and August.  We would especially love to see more men in attendance this next time!  Stay tuned for the date and time, and thank you for praying for our group as we seek to honor God in all of our male/female relationships!

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Love is an Event, and that Event is the Cross

March 1, 2010 By 2 Comments

The following article is by Derek Coyle, a fellow West Shore churchgoer and my roommate.  I respect him a lot as a writer and as a man of God.  He brought up an interesting thought this week in our Bible study that “love is an event.”  Do we think like this?  I implore you to read his article below.

I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Instantly you are thinking one of two things:  Valentine’s Day was last month or how much bitterness does this guy have built up? Quickly I want to respond to those two points. First, I know I am two weeks late, but “it’s better late than never,” right? Besides, isn’t love something we should be pouring out 365 days a year? Second, I have no bitterness towards old loves who may or may not have broken my heart. My defense goes back to the first point about making love a priority all year long. However, there is one thing I appreciate about Valentine’s Day. It causes us to take a good look at what it means to love our spouses, families, friends, enemies, and everyone in between.

What is love? According to February 14th, it means fancy dinners, lavish jewelry, chocolates, cheesy cards, candles, and the like. I’m not “hating” on these things. I really like good food, chocolates, and the occasional tear-jerking greeting card. They are all good ways to express our love for one another, but, in and of themselves, they are not love. In fact, I would argue against many of the things we do in the name of love (thanks Bono). They all have the propensity to scream out “I love you,” but they often fail to live up to the expectations.

In the book the Power of Words and the Wonder of God, Paul Tripp states, “You don’t define love by a set of abstract concepts” (Piper, Taylor, et all, pp. 39). This makes love vague, subjective, and void of any real value. The way I choose to show love can be just as effective as the next person’s method of choice. There is no standard by which we can measure true love. Abstract concepts are the reasons why all sorts of heinous sins are “justified” on the basis of being propelled by love. Just look at the Pharisees in Jesus’ day. He called them “whitewashed sepulchers” for fostering injustice and tyranny all in the name of loving God and His people; “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me” (Matthew 15:8 ESV). Their attitudes echoed many of ours today. I am permissible to do whatever I want as long as I claim love as my motivation.

Thankfully 1 John 4:7-12 gives us a detailed glimpse into the reality of love. He makes it painstakingly clear exactly what love looks like. However, in our fallen nature, we still have been able to find ways to make love abstract and without meaning. We will proudly quote verse eight, “God is love” to the unsaved around us thinking such a statement places a concrete stamp on love. Are we wrong in claiming God as the very essence of love to be truth? Absolutely not! Where we are wrong is in our break down of who God is in the minds of the lost. To them, He is nothing but an abstract concept. Declaring one abstract concept to be the source of another abstract concept makes as much sense to me as my high school calculus course (let’s just say D is not just the first letter in my name).Our job as ambassadors for Christ, to both our spiritual family and the lost, is to show God’s love as being the most concrete reality on this earth.

This is where we need to read past verse eight of 1 John 4. Here, John drives home the preverbal nail. He leaves no room for abstract concepts because he makes love out to be something far better than words or, even, actions. “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (v. 9-10 ESV). As Paul Tripp bluntly states, “love is an event, and that event is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ” (pp. 39 emphasis mine). Every physical and verbal display of love is fueled by the reality of this event.

And what concrete depiction of love does the cross of Christ give us? First, love is a willing sacrifice of self. God gave of Himself by sending Christ into the world. Christ gave of Himself by letting go of His eternal glory (Philippians 2) to become a man. Are we willing to give of ourselves as a reality of our love? Could we sacrifice our own desires for others? Second, love is redemptive. The cross is the story of redemption. God, in love, overcame our mess in order to bring us back to Himself. John called it living through Him. Is our love able to redeem the ugliness of others? Are we willing to swallow our own pride in order to make good out of a bad situation, even when we had nothing to do with it? Third, love does not demand reciprocation. Sure, we serve God as a result of His love for us, but our service is not to pay back what it cost Christ to die. Our service is out of response for the fact that Christ did die. The love of the cross graciously floods others with love without expecting anything in return. Are we willing to love even if it means going unnoticed or being taken advantage of? Do we operate out of a “what have you done for me lately attitude?” Finally, the cross teaches us that love and merit are not synonymous. What is more, love works in spite of merit. Our merit earned us eternal judgment and separation from God (Romans 6:23). But God chose to love us in our sinful state (Romans 5:8) with an everlasting and gracious love. We can live under the peace of knowing that regardless of how much we may have screwed things up, God’s love is greater. How well do we let our love look past the sins of others? Are we able to love someone regardless of the things they have done to us?

Love is not abstract. It is as clear Caribbean waters, visible all the way to the depths. As Paul says in Ephesians 3:18, we can know what love is. To be more specific, we can know “the breadth, and length, and height and depth” of the love of Christ made evident on the cross. So maybe instead of Valentine’s Day being exalted as the day of love, we should replace it with the day when love was made an event. The day when all of history and prophecy reached its climax and God’s voice thundered from the heavens; “This is love!”

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