I was 8 years old when I moved from Korea. I grew up in a Christian family. Before I went to college, I attended the First Korean Presbyterian Church in Dillsburg. My parents took me to church every Sunday, but church was a social event for me. I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus at the time. I knew that Jesus was the Son of God, and died for my sins, and if I believed Him, it meant that I would go to heaven. I remember going to a retreat one summer in high school and memorizing John 3:16 in order to eat lunch. So I memorized that verse and said sure, I believe in Jesus Christ.

I went to University of Illinois for college, so I was far away from home. Even though I had my freedom, I still went to church. And only because my mom would call me every Sunday evening to ask me “Did you go to church?” And if I said no, I would get an earful from my mom. I couldn’t lie to my mom, so I went to church most Sundays during college, and that’s only because they had a late service at 3PM. If they didn’t have a late service, I don’t know if I would have made it because most Sunday mornings, I was hung over from drinking. Every time, I would go to church service, I would: sit all the way in the back, didn’t really say hi to anybody, take notes on the sermon, and leave right afterwards. I would even say, wow, that was a great sermon, but the message left my mind as soon as I left the church building. I moved back to PA after graduation and went back to the Korean church for a year. I couldn’t understand the sermon in Korean, so I started looking for another church. That’s how I started attending West Shore back in 2002 or 2003. But the same habit carried over from college with church. I attended most Sunday services: sat in the back, didn’t talk to anybody, and left right after service. I would purposely come in 10 to 15 minutes later because I didn’t like greeting people during announcements. By nature, I’m not a social person, and I didn’t really want to get to know anybody. Also, I think in some way I didn’t want people judging me about my lifestyle that I had, which was work Monday through Fridays and drinking on the weekends with friends. And on most Sundays, I went to church because it was just another routine for me and would get a guilt trip from my parents if I didn’t.

It wasn’t until late last October (2010) when everything changed for me. I went through a hard time in my life and because of that, I started to look to Jesus. I started listening to sermons by our Pastor Phil before going to bed. My sister told me about Tim Keller, so I started listening to his sermons. Tim Keller references CS Lewis a lot in his sermons, so I picked up few of his books. The more and more I read and listened to sermons, Jesus became real to me as my Savior, my Redeemer, my Lord, and my God. He had opened my eyes to see and ears to hear. I finally knew what it meant in Ephesians 2: 5 where it says He has “made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.” It was then, I realized that the Jesus that I thought I knew was the Jesus that I wanted Him to be. In my mind, Jesus was a loving God, and He would forgive me because I “believed.” Like John 3:16 says, “whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” See I had taken this verse and just because I said I believed Him, I thought I was saved. I now know that believing is following Him. I ignored the verses like Matthew 7: 21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

It’s amazing what Jesus did to me when He entered my life. I wanted to know Him more and more. In the first month I isolated myself. I came home from work and would listen to 2 or 3 of Tim Keller’s sermons a day, read the Bible, read other Christian books. I didn’t like reading books before, but now, I love reading anything that will help me get to know Him better. God has a funny way of expressing things to me. Like I said, the first month, I didn’t want to leave my house much. I was listening to a sermon by Darrin Patrick, and he had said “From today, I want you to stop coming to church! From now on be the church!” That’s when I realized that I needed to change the way I viewed church and started being the church, so that’s when I began attending SixTen and small group. Another time, I was convicted by Francis Chan’s sermon titled the New Middle Road. After hearing that message, I felt like I needed to serve in some way. I didn’t know what, so I started searching for volunteer opportunities in the area. Kyle had gone to Helping Hand Ministries and told me about it during our small group. Also, I’ve always wanted to help out at Bethesda Mission, so I’ve been helping out on a weekly basis at Helping Hand Ministries and Bethesda Mission. I want to try to serve God and His people, and this is one way that I can serve Him.

These past few months, God has started to change my heart, but this is only the beginning of my walk with Christ. I feel like I have only scratched the surface of who God is and what it means to follow Jesus. I want to spend the rest of my eternal life knowing Him, seeking Him, loving Him, serving Him, and depending on Him more and more each day. I would like to share one of my favorite quotes by Tim Keller, “I see I am more flawed and sinful than I ever dared believe, but that I am even more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope.”